During residency training we were trained not to say NO to our senior residents and consultants because the success of the healthcare team depends on the team captain's ability to delegate tasks. I suppose this attitude has been carried over to other aspects in our life.
When I searched for tips in the art of saying NO, I was astonished to find many videos on youtube like Kenny Nguyen, and Steve Jobs among others. There is actually a whole book on it by Damon Zahariades,
T1. Why is it so hard to say NO?
There are a lot of possible reasons why it is hard to say no. Maybe it can be training. Maybe it is easier to just say yes. Maybe it is the fear of missing out (FOMO). Maybe it is rooted in low self-esteem, believing you have no right to say no. Maybe saying yes all the time is a manifestation of a desire to please and to get ahead in career or advocacy.
T2. What are the consequences of not being able to say NO?
When you say YES, you are saying NO to something else. You need to value your time and priorities. You should avoid spreading yourself too thin to the point of burn out and reduced productivity. In the elusive search for happiness saying yes to others, we eventually realize that we say NO to ourselves.
Self-care saves lives. Again, this is not spas and hot tubs, but about making good life choices - including saying NO to things, events and people who may not contribute to one's mental, physical and emotional well-being.
T3. What tips and techniques of saying NO can you suggest?
NO is not the hardest word to say, but practice makes perfect. Here are suggestions from Leo Babauta on healthy ways to say NO:
