Let them be

I have recently encountered complaints at work, being sucked in to the blame for failure of clients complying with requirements of their training program.  As our commitment is to provide an enabling environment for our clients, it is quite difficult and almost impossible to do this if the providers are unwilling to be flexible and insist on doing things "their way" and looking into barriers instead of finding ways to make things happen.

Fortunately, I am the head of the office and as far as I can assess, unless empiric data is provided to prove that the staff are indeed suffering from burn out, I will continue to be facilitative in order for our clients to reach their goals.  I will continue to be a bamboo swaying against the stress and reaching out to humbly ask help from everyone and anyone who would be willing to help us assist our clients.  As long as it is within my power to coordinate and collaborate, I am a self-effacing boss who will absorb as much as I can to meet the goals of the office.

Yes, it is disappointing to be treated a certain way, especially by a subordinate - who insists on doing only what is planned and not give in to sudden changes and contingencies, but traditionally following a cookbook activity design, especially considering the work we do is still in uncharted waters, and exploring how far we can go as an institution in engaging its staff and stakeholders.

This is a sign of maturity for me to not be affected by what people say.  I follow the attitude of my lawyer colleague and partner who does not give a damn about the opinion of others so long as rules and regulations are followed, each action is based on a good reason and sound judgment, and the outcomes will speak for itself.  I will no longer waste my precious time disciplining and explaining to subordinates who refuse to understand, because maybe this will reflect more on them than on me.  Maybe later on they can decide for themselves whether they belong to my team or not, because those who do not espouse the same values, passion and dedication to achieving goals should think about their place in the team.

so, I will let them.

"We get what we expect.  We deserve what we tolerate."

I have this mantra drilled into my brain by our management committee secretariat.  If this happened before, I would be crying and languishing in the negative opinion of others about me, and I would be writing to obtain justice for a subordinate disrespecting me.  But now, I realize that there are other more urgent matters to attend to, and it will suffice to document this and pass the task of explaining and justifying to the person who committed the disrespect.

Even when elder leaders seemingly humiliate me in public, I no longer react because I realize that the unprofessionalism of public humiliation reflects more on the speaker that the receiver of the comments.  I am confident enough in my work and honest enough in my intentions to even take offense.  Note to self:  you are getting older and FINALLY learning from your experiences.  You have no control over the actions of others, but you have control over your reaction to them.

Let them be.