1. GIVING. Do things for others.
- One can get high on doing good deeds. There's a warm fuzzy feeling inside that money cannot buy that only comes from knowing that you offered a service to others, no matter how small. I was flying from Cebu to Manila and we needed to board a bus to get from the airplane to the airport. I was already seated when the bus was filling up, and the last one to board was a slow-moving old man that a little boy called "lolo" or grandfather. With no seats left, I offered him my seat for the short ride, receiving his warm smile in return. Something as simple as giving up a little comfort can touch lives, making people feel you care. The simple acts of kindness leaves you that lasting sense of happiness that can make your day.
2. RELATING. Connect with people.
In the dating circles, the goal would be to "put yourself out there". It's scary to think that people may not accept you or find you lacking, but by making yourself vulnerable you are opening yourself to endless possibilities. No pain, no gain.
What I learned from training as a counselor is that counselling is client-centered, and more important than giving information is helping the other person identify issues and concerns that need to be addressed to be able to move on and take action. Empathy is more important than sympathy. In taking time to sit with a friend over coffee, you are telling that person that my time is important but you are important too. By connecting, you realize that YOU are important to that other person as well.
3. EXERCISING. Take care of your body.
Of all these keys to happiness, exercising would be my Achilles heel. My body seems to love its fat and more often that not, time for exercise and attending to general health has always been pushed to the bottom of my "to do" list for the day. I notice however, that it is when I go running or swimming that I feel a sense of well-being that everything will be alright. After all, my mother gently reminds me that all my training would be for naught if I was not healthy enough to use these skills.
4. APPRECIATING. Notice the world around.
Back in college, I would read on Kerygma magazine how this lady made it her life ministry to write "thank you" notes to each person she encounters. I remember how Dr. Iris Isip-Tan discussed during a lecture how Liking on Facebook has become a psychological first aid - and I've experienced it myself too. Affirmation is not only helpful, but it also helps boost one's morale.
5. TRYING OUT. Keep learning new things.
I don't consider myself an expert. I see myself as a newbie to most things - I am willing to try new things. This past year has been a time of many firsts:
- After graduation, I had my very first income-generating job as an employee at a government hospital.
- I applied for a teaching job and I had my first class teaching medical students. I would like to think that this is my contribution to shaping future doctors, public servants and medical researchers.
- When my grandmother and my aunt died a year ago, they left me their legacy of empowering children and youth to become productive citizens of the world through education. This was my first shot at being an executive director of a non-government organization.
- Now hooked to having a presence in social media this year, I made my first tweet on twitter, participated and moderated in my first tweetchat, attended my first national social media conference #hcsmPH, published my first post on my first blog - all impact of #HealthXPH.
I realized after all this that I wouldn't have known exactly what I want to do, and where my niche is in the community if I hadn't dared to try new things and explored the extent of my abilities.
6. DIRECTION. Have goals to look forward to.
Just because you can do everything doesn't mean you should. I try not to spread myself too thin. I know my priorities. The rest are just icing on the cake. Another way to look at it is for you to choose your own sacrifice. Many call me a workaholic. If I keep on working on projects, I would need to sacrifice on my sleep or my social life or worse, my family life. It is imperative to strike a balance in life. I usually decide on short-term projects depending on how they will affect my long term goals. I stuck to med school, residency and fellowship because I wanted to be get the maximum benefit from my training. Thrills and distractions took a backseat in my life. But then, I need to keep in mind also that success is not the key to happiness - happiness is the key to success.
7. RESILIENCE. Find ways to bounce back.
Whenever I lose a patient, I get depressed and I have difficulty getting back to work the next day. Sometimes I allow myself time to grieve. Often I unload my woes onto my friends. At times, I need spiritual guidance from my friend priests. The one person whom I always rely on to help me bounce back from any crisis is my mother. She keeps me happy and sane. She is my angel, my most avid fan and my over-all support system. Find someone or something that help you bounce back when you hit a roadblock or a pothole in life.
8. EMOTION. Take a positive approach.
Count your blessings. Appreciate the things that you have rather than gripe about the things that you don't have. When you doubt yourself, just think that "I can do this!"
9. ACCEPTANCE. Be comfortable with who you are.
When you set your acceptance high, you keep an open mind. Accept who you are, where you've been and what you can do. Accept other people warts, pimples and all. Everybody has a past, but the their present choices and actions will dictate their future. Everybody deserves a second chance.
Accept your reality. Things happen for a reason, whether it's to teach you a lesson or to touch your life, learn to accept your lot in life - God has a plan for you!
10. MEANING. Be part of something bigger.
- Live for others. Be selfless and stand up for something. Meeting up with my twin nieces always bring JOY and HAPPINESS to my heart.
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Helen V. Madamba, happy auntie!
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